Perhaps it's the Altitude...

I am not given to the leanings of conspiracy theorists.  In fact, I frequently find them tedious and contra to the stance my family holds (upholding the constitution, defending the country against all enemies both foreign and domestic, etc…) regarding our duties as citizens of these United States. 

Yet today, I have to ask:

For what purpose does the government need an inventory of my home?

I raise this question because yesterday two government agencies, FEMA and the Colordao Department of Public Health and Environment, hosted a special assembly at my children’s elementary school (to be fair, the school is also a middle school.  We’re a small mountain community, folks).  They discussed emergency preparedness and necessary safety measures that should be taken in the event of a natural disaster, such as flood or wildfire.  All relevant and appropriate information for mountain kids; and informational presentations that I appreciate and endorse. 

However, at the end of the assembly, the children were given scavenger hunt lists to take home, fill out, and return for the next FEMA and CDPHE visit. 

These "Scavenger Hunt Lists"  are an inventory of twenty-seven items that should go into a family disaster kit.  After the children have located the Family Disaster Kit, they are to check off each item individually.  If an item is missing, the child is instructed to “go on a scavenger hunt” for said item to place in the kit.   The child is scored on the number of items in their Family Disaster Kit.   Once the child has inventoried the Family Disaster Kit, the parents are to fill out and sign the “verification form” to indicate that the child has completed the assignment.  Both parent and child are instructed to return the Verification Form, checked Inventory – oops, sorry, I meant – Scavenger Hunt List, Matching Activity (not included in packet sent home), and Word Search (also, not included in take home packet) to his/her school. 

What happens after the child completes the assignment and returns them to the government agency,…erhm…school? 

Why, they get their very own Cinch Sack with Emergency Supplies Inside!  That’s right, kiddies, all you have to do is tell Uncle Sam what’s in your parents’ house and you, too, can have your very own government sponsored emergency preparedness bag.  And yes, the items in the bag are very cool; and yes, kiddies, you want them very much.     

     

So why are the federal and state governments bribing – pardon me, strongly encouraging – my child to inventory my home?  Because “studies have shown” that a child’s ability to respond to and recover from an emergency or disaster is connected to how adult caregivers react and respond.[1]  It’s for the kids’ sake, after all.    

Is it just the air up here, or does that sound like a hauntingly familiar strain from not-too-distant history? 

One wonders what inventory will be next…

---

[1] While the specific studies are not referenced in the letter sent home to families, the Weber-Morgan Health Department in Utah is mentioned as a pioneer of the “I’m Not Scared When I’m Prepared” family project.